75 things to do before I (you? we?) die.

 

 

I was recently inspired by an article in Esquire to make my own list, a few of the items on my list are similar to those in the article simply because I didn’t feel that I could afford to take them off.  Remember, this isn’t everything, just 75 important ones. Enjoy.

 

 

1. Keep a journal.

Even if it is only 500 words a week and you feel you are covering nonsense, you will no doubt document your life even if it’s in an accidental, obscure fashion.  This will prove invaluable later in life.

 

2. Forgive the family member that you hate the most.

It could be your father, your mother, or your great uncle on your cousin’s side.  Think of all the things that they have done wrong, put them next to a list of what you have done wrong, burn both lists and then call them and tell them how much you value them.  If you do not have a family member that you hate, you are either a monk or they are all dead.

 

3. Live like you did in college for a week.

Remember when a 12 PBR and 8 hotdogs made for a seriously awesome evening?  They still do.

 

4. Surf Indonesia in July or August.

Ok, you don’t have to jump out into 15ft waves the first day by yourself, and this can be done in Hawaii or Costa Rica, or a myriad of other places for that matter, but get out on the water where there is real action, appreciate being lost in something that you can’t possibly control.

 

5. Cry in front of your children.

Or they will never think that it is ok to cry.

 

6. Fall in love as many times as possible.

Be it for the evening, the afternoon, 6 years or eventually eternity.  When you find the one, you will have no choice in the matter.  Until then, enjoy. 

 

7. That being said, if you don’t absolutely love her, leave her.  Every. Single. Time.

She doesn’t owe you anything, and you don’t owe her.  Sticking around will only pervert the mind.  If you are already married and can’t figure this out, stay with her unless cheating is involved.  I absolutely guarantee you that she is a better person then you.  Even you monk.

 

8. Mow your neighbor’s lawn.

Maybe your neighbor is old, maybe she is alone, maybe it is just a houseful of lazy assholes that just want to bring down the property value of everyone else on the block.  Try it. Never fess up.

 

 

 

9. Learn to dance.

At least one style, and own it.  I don’t care if it is Tango or Break Dancing, have something in your holster that you can use when the world is least expecting it.  When you unleash it, make it instant and full of bravado.

 

10. Let someone believe they are right, even if they are completely wrong.

Obviously not if it is something like cutting the “red wire or the green,” but you know, something like how milk is made.  Some people really need to believe that their useless facts are perfect, and you don’t have the time to argue with them.

 

11. Master a hidden talent, keep it secret.

This could be an instrument, a sport, a game, anything.  Hone your skills, become the master and when it comes up don’t gloat about your skill.  Just quietly wreck everyone and win graciously.  The dancing requirement is separate.

 

12. Know how to use a baseball bat both for defense and for play.

Every man should know how to hit a baseball.  I tend to think that any sport where the most important guy on the field can have a beer gut is less then an athletic one, but you should know how to use a bat.

 

13. Put 500 rounds through a machine gun.

Almost every town has a local gun range that rents all sorts of guns for use in the range and offers training classes.  This experience will either confirm your suspicions or show you the opposite.  Either way it is a great stress reliever.

 

14. Participate in a rodeo.

Like, get inside of the ring participate.  This may be subbed with participation in the running of the bulls.

 

15. Watch yourself on television.

I don’t care what you have to do in order to get this done, but being in the background of the today show does not count.

 

16. Have sex at a wedding. (Not your own)

Anyone who has ever been to a wedding knows that this is not a difficult task, but it will change your perspective on a variety of things, including weddings.

 

17. Leave a casino with more money then you entered with.

This is almost impossible.  Next time you have a super lucky night, even if it is after 20 minutes, leave and spend the money on strippers, a watch, a flat screen, a ride home in first class, or send your wife to the spa.

 

18. Take a the southern train from Glasgow to London

This offers us a rare chance to reflect on the world around us in comfort, and with a great view.  It is possible that this can be done on many other trains.

 

19. Live for a time in a “rural” country.

I’m not talking bombs and tanks, but lets skip the amenities here.  You are going to have to walk to the store, cook from raw ingredients, fumble through a language and try not to get killed by possibly wicked wildlife.  Keep notes in your journal. 

 

20. Become ridiculously infatuated with someone that may be your soul mate.

Do this while you are far, far from home and leave them in the peak of the relationship because you both must return to real life.  This will only make sense after you do it, and you can write a novel about it later that your wife will enjoy. Fiction of course.

 

21. Dive a shipwreck.

Diving itself is almost as surreal as it gets, but diving through anything that was once flying or sailing brings the capacity and wonder of the sea to an entirely different level.

 

22. Volunteer. 

In a hospital, at a home for the elderly, to be a chaperone, to go first in class, whatever.

 

23. Listen until another person runs out of words. 

Then coax them for more.

 

24. Hunt, kill, clean, butcher, and cook the protein for at least one meal.

There will be few things more rewarding then realizing that you could provide for yourself if you ever really had to.  Ask your grandfather about this.

 

25. Visit Haleakala National park in Maui.

You know you have always wanted to see a volcano. 

 

26. Make a living out of living life.

I don’t care how, but try your best at this.  If your occupation is task oriented or inside the idea economy it does not matter, you can orient your life around becoming better at it.

 

27. Take home a girl with whom you don’t have a language in common.

Think you’re a master of communication?  Prove it.  *This is not an attempt to prove your “playa skills” this is an attempt at learning about the raw power of human connection.  It may also be the sexiest thing you ever experience.

 

28. Lose a fight.

As they say, what can you possibly know about yourself if you have never been in a fight?  Everyone should feel what it is like to have someone truly hand you your ass, and you will smile (sort of) through the next few days knowing that you survived.

 

29. Ride a motorcycle along the northwestern edge of Peru.

The view is spectacular and there are a variety of little towns to stop in.  One of which is Mancora, a tiny surfing village with great places to stay and to eat.  Just make sure that you carry some spare gas with you because as with many areas in rural South America there isn’t an over abundance of gas stations.  If you don’t have it in you to do this, rent a dirt bike and drive it through the closest desert. 

 

 

30.  Give up your Phone, Blackberry, Laptop, TV, and Watch for a week.

This is best done on some sort of vacation because it will bring the vacation level of the vacation much higher.  If you have a giant pair, then go ahead and do it during the week and see how many missing persons reports stack up, it could be fun.

 

31. Read.

Read a lot.  Know the complete works of at least one author.  I recommend starting with Hemingway, Fante, or Hunter S. Thompson, but there are many others.

 

32. Keep in touch.

Call the people that you haven’t spoken to in five or ten years that you thought you would never be out of touch with.  See what they are doing with their lives and how quickly things change.  This is not a pissing contest.

 

33. Win at least one over-sized stuffed prize at a carnival.

This shouldn’t be for a girl, this should be for yourself.  I hope it costs you 80 dollars.  If it doesn’t, try again at a different game.  When you do finally win, get the giant pink elephant and carry it around triumphantly on your shoulders letting the entire world know that you have finally beaten the fucking system.

 

34. Start a fire without the use of incendiary devices.

Seriously, try it.  And don’t wait until it is a necessity, give it a shot next time you go camping.

 

35. Participate in guys night.

This can be a poker night that rotates from house to house each week, or a Manwich night where the only goal is to drink beer, eat Sloppy Joe’s, and watch true American movie classics like “Road House.”

 

36. Run a race.

At least a 10K.  I recommend training for at least two months first.  Give it your best shot, you might surprise yourself, you might finish last, but you will feel good about it after.

 

37. Learn extensively about a religion that is not your own.

Far to many times do we base our beliefs and opinions on what was handed down to us, instead of exploring on our own.  Remember, often times those who handed down those opinions, simply had them handed to them.

 

38.  Go to the Olympics.

To witness anyone who is that good at anything is an inspiring experience.

39.  Be an extra in a movie, participate in a game show, or sit in the audience of a late night TV show.

 

40.  Toss a bottle with your name, the date, location, and email address into the ocean.

If someone replies it will absolutely be one of the oddest experiences of your life.

 

41.  Shower in the rain.

I did this while on a sailing trip when water was running low on the boat.  But never have I felt so satisfied with a shower afterwards or been so perplexed as to why I hadn’t done something like it before.

 

42.  Streak.

 

43.  Own at least one expensive and tailored suit.

It doesn’t always matter how you look, but sometimes it does.

 

44.  Get yourself into really good physical shape for at least 3 months.

You don’t have to be a gym fanatic.  This is really about learning how to control your diet more then anything.  This should have no bearing on when you streak.

 

45.  Make love in as many places as physically possible, and certainly while people are in the next room.

 

46.  Make wishes.

But it is equally as important to be happy with what you have.  If you aren’t you won’t be happy with anything. Ever.

 

47.  Make a list of 6 goals for one year.  Meet or exceed them. 

If you don’t do this you are a lazy no-good slouch.

 

48. Teach some sort of class.

You will without a doubt learn more from the experience then anyone else involved.

 

49.  Learn how to make at least the basic alcoholic mixed drinks.

Keep the items in your home that are necessary to make them.

 

50.  Skydive.  Why the fuck not.

 

51. Fast.

At least three days, nothing but water.

 

52.  Build a reputation.

This can be as something great that you may never be able to live up to, or as something terrible so that you can surprise everyone you meet, but trust that it is always better to have a story then to not be worth remembering.

 

 

 

53.  Throw a real party.

I’m talking about the kind of party that is going to give you a reputation.

 

54. Take long lasting drugs in the outdoors.

I’ve had several people tell me that this is one of the greatest things that has ever happened to them.  Shout out.

 

55. Go canopy diving in the rain forest.

The theory is this.  Climb to the top of a giant tree, strap into a harness and ride zip lines that average 100 yards long and a few hundred feet above the ground from tree to tree through the canopy of the rainforest.  Bring a camera.

 

56.  Go whitewater rafting.

This can be done at almost any skill level but I recommend hitting some serious rapids with an experienced guide and making it a two or three day affair.  This can be done in almost any part of the world, and is one of the greatest ways to clear your head and fear for your life at the same time.

 

57.  Raise a dog.

I’m not talking about a dog that your girl could put in her purse, leave that to her. Think Lab or Shepard and do this only if you have the means.  It isn’t prudent to get a puppy in an apartment in NYC, they grow up and will need space.  But in the right environment, that dog will be the missing link in your life.

 

58.  Eat Sushi.

Do this with someone that knows what they are doing.  I’m not talking about California rolls.

 

59.  Learn to cook at least one dish ridiculously well.

This can be a main course, an appetizer, a dessert, whatever.  But when the time comes for you to contribute to the dinner party, be prepared.  The world doesn’t have to know that you can only make one thing.

 

60.  Drive the coastal highway from San Francisco southbound to Los Angeles.

Do this in a convertible if possible and allow yourself at least two full days.  Spend the night in Big Sur.  Bring a camera.

 

61. Build an igloo.

This can be a simple shelter of any kind.  You must make it with your hands and very simple tools, ie. a knife, rocks, and twine.  Occupy said structure for at least two nights.

 

60. Walk a section of the Great-wall of China.

Well I feel that this can almost be subbed by witnessing and participating in almost any of the wonders of the world, trying to classify the sheer amount of man hours that went into anything that large constructed during such a time period is mind boggling.

 

61. Take a yoga class.

Not manly enough for you?  It’s harder than you think.

 

62. Go sledding.

What sort of life have you lived if you have never been sledding?  Of course you did it when you were a kid.  Now try it again with a six-pack and a few buddies.

 

63. Visit wine country.

A man should know at least the basics about wine.  You don’t have to drink it all of the time, you don’t have to keep expensive bottles around the house, but you should know enough to pair what types with what meals at dinner and a great place to learn about this in the beauty of California’s wine country.

 

64. Sing to a girl, seriously, at least once.

Write a song, put yourself out there, and if she doesn’t love you for it, get rid of her.

 

65. Witness a full moon in the French Alps.

Make it on a clear night, and preferably from on of the peaks themselves.  Try to take in the vastness of natures raw beauty and couple it with the feeling of frailty you get from looking up and seeing the view from one small speck in the spiral arm of the galaxy.

 

66. Full moon party, Thailand.

Well we are on the subject of full Moons, make sure you make it to Koh Phangan beach for the full moon party (held monthly).  Think Mardi Gras and then realize that you have no idea.

 

67. Attend a three-day music festival.

There are a variety of these around the globe and certainly one to fit the tastes of almost anyone.  That feeling you get when you are pre-gaming to see your favorite band won’t fade for the entire weekend and you will carry back with you into the real world a false sense of enlightenment that will last for almost a week.

 

68. Run away. 

Do this at least once, tell no one except your work where you are going, stay for at least two weeks.  Speak with no one you know.  Hopefully this will enable you to fall madly in love, then leave at the peak, and write a novel about it later that your life will enjoy.

 

69. Take a stripper to breakfast.

I’m not saying you have to sleep with her first.  Maybe, I am.  But I’ve met more strippers trying to put themselves through nursing school then would sleep with me. I mean, not that I know a lot of strippers.

 

70. Wait tables or tend bar for at least three months.

This is a great way to learn about people, social classes, general interaction, and most importantly, how to treat people with respect.

 

71. Play Rugby.

Remember this list is in no particular order, if it was, I would have ranked this much closer to the top.  The general feeling of disarray when you don’t know what is happening around you is highlighted by the chess like maneuvers of those that do and is a thing of beauty.  You will learn a lot about yourself, as well as your team-mates and that scrawny kid from the copy room that during the game almost killed a man.  Even if you get your shit handed to you, the after party will make up for it.

 

72. Make a list of your ten priorities in life and then rank them.

This exercise is extremely clarifying and almost impossible to do because often times we don’t want to admit to ourselves how high on this list we have placed things like careers, cash, or cars.

 

73. Throw a grenade.

This can be done in Thailand.  You can also shoot a bazooka.  Go on, do it.

 

74. Take a girl to a scary drive in movie.

Bring a bottle of wine.  Let the hot make-out action begin.

 

75.  Make a list of 75 things to do before you die.  Try to do it in under a week and without consulting your friends. Do not steal from other lists, but it is fine to have something on your list that was on someone else’s as long as you came up with it on your own.

 

Don’t have the time for these? Cut out television, except of course when you are going to be on it.